Having found two quarters and a nickel back

Having found two quarters and a nickel back in '07, I could never break the habit of checking the coin return on pay phones. I pushed the door open with my index finger and felt

something snap. That broke my habit of checking coin returns, but I still wonder, what was it that bit off the two fingers of my right hand. I wake up next afternoon with whiskey

a-go-go tickets it my pocket. What the fudge? I was partying on the sunset strip last night? It wasn't just that my fingers were gone, they'd already healed last night. Two pearly

nubbins poked out of the skin on my hand where my fingers had been. Huh. I wouldn't let a little thing like that slow me down. I slowly texted my friend Fat Harry to see what he

would like for dinner. Harry always was a greedy fellow, who'd eat almost anything. Suddenly, though, my condition got even worse: giant spiky antlers burst out of my head, and

I ran with the moose. Visions of Canadian venison danced in Harry's head. He grabbed a blunderbuss filled it with spiky buckeyeyes and went hunting for me his former best friend.

Ever since I had proved his girlfriend was mad about the China cabinet Harry had hated me even though it was me that broke the door latch on it and 3 of the stained glass windows.

Should have just gotten cheap Chinese crap and not wasted their money. Harry's girlfriend was familiar with the "nur fur verruckte" designated places in town and hung out there.

It was there that I discover gourmet cheese balls & bacon wrapped town crackers. They spent more on snacks than nur fur. Insulting! Cheap Chinese stuff *crunch* is so *nom nom* ...