"I can't smoke my morning bong bowl because

She was so full of pot resin that she forgot that it was Thanksgiving and the entire family and community was downstairs. The little girl they knew was a crazed marijuana nut

ella distributor who mostly sold to older folks who needed the herbal benefits but couldn't or wouldn't smoke it. She'd prepared a special Thanksgiving pot pie but had left it in t

he snow to be eaten by wolves. The wolves loved the herbal effects and surrounded the house while raiding bins. At night they howled unearthily. They started to eat the pets: hamst

ers tended to get caught in their throats, so they left them alone, but all other pets were fair game. All was going well for the wolves until the stoat swarm arrived. In the bli

nk of an eye three of the seven wolves had disappeared beneath the seething mass of stoats that had seeped up through the pet shop floor. The wolves tried to flee, but the doors

were locked.Waves of stoats with rasor sharp teeth flowed across the floor towards the wolves who cowered behind the terrarium with the skinks.Then Wolverina Puckeridge stepped out

And offered a huge slab of beef. The stoats acted like vultures and ate the whole thing in record time, making the Guinness book of world records. The noise police arrived at ten.

But were turned away at 9:59 by the police police. They were threatened with a citation for Pretending to be police. Other police heard this & wondered if this was the new policy.

Sting scowled. The Pretenders were the bane if his existence.