I knew it was too good to be true. I

I knew it was too good to be true. I

reached out to touch the shimmering colors when, just as I'd anticipated, the image evaporated before my very eyes. Happened every time. Dammit! Maybe next time, I'll try

a different way of catching a rainbow. I hired four helicopters and large mylar mirrors. If I could trap it, I would be wealthy beyond my wildest dreams! Mhah-ha-ha!

The rainbow evaded the helicopters and mirrors, so I turned to "Trap a Rainbow: Plan B" which called for black tempera paint, bacon, a shoeless leprechaun, dry ice, an SOS pad

thai with spicy peanut sauce and a region of spacetime from which gravity prevents anything from escaping. Basically, I put all of the rainbow's favorite things near the black hole

in Mr. Potato's head. "Ah you shouldn't have done that." The way she said it almost made me feel bad, but I'd done it for comedy and well, comedy is king. I waited for the potato t

O go out for a walk. Mr. Potatohead was liked by all creatures he met whilst perambulating the neighbourhood. His wife was a Top Chef winner in 2016. The award was huge and they

to the jacuzzi. "No..no no no!" he exclaimed as his skin began to turn golden yellow, his soft skin hardening. He was turning into a french fry in his own home.

And his wife was faring no better in the Magimix, where she became ketchup, then was poured into a huge Heinz bottle. & were those wieners his kids? Familial compatibility at last!