Would I wear in a holster? Would I keep it

Would I wear in a holster? Would I keep it concealed? Would I put it on the table every time that I'm misdealed? Would I rob a liquor store to get some money for the rent? Welfare

and the NRA sure were strange bedfellows in my house. My email inbox always felt like it was at war with itself and my mailbox had multiple personalities that caused the postman to

always ring twice. When I hit 'forward', my contacts fell out and I to reenter them. When I tried to fire off an email to the head of the NRA, every member received

a copy. I came to the conclusion that my laptop was haunted. In the middle of working, it would randomly start downloading strange Chinese programs. I tried hiring an exorcist but

she only told me that there's nothing she could do for my computer seeing as she has never used this operating system. As soon as I thought things couldn't get any worse,

sparks started flying out from my monitor. Quickly, she yanked the monitor and threw it out the window. I sat there in disbelief. And I thought to myself "If only

tech support was available during the Malefic moon." Her wicked smile created doubt and tension in my mind, and possibly the minds of others. Next, she unplugged the printer.

She swam through the paper towards it, beware of it's terrifying maw. the doorway was close, but the fax machine was closer, it started it's whirring noises and started to

squeal that hideous noise she recalled from many a waking nightmare. She reached out, grasping for anything in triplicate, hoping her feet might find purchase orders beneath her.