"No, Jaspers did not write your name on the

"No, Jaspers did not write your name on the couch in sharpie. Come out of your room when you are ready to tell the truth." Closing the door, I looked at the dog. "We need to talk."

Tail thumping (as usual), Jaspers looked up at me with his bloodshot brown eyes. "First it was the homework, & now THIS?" I asked. "Look," said Jaspers. "You''re the one who wanted

me to talk. "Speak, Jaspers, speak," you'd constantly instruct & treat with Beggon Strips. Now as a sworn witness in court, I speak & you accuse ME of unfaithfulness.You should let

Tory begin in June 2013 and nobody dared finish it. Some of the best folded stories are old ones. It takes years to finish one, most of the time. You must be patient, folks.

Look on the bright side, though. Long after you are dead, your overfilled inbox will bounce another email from Foldingstory.com telling you that a story you worked on is finished.

It will bounce around the ether until it lands before the feet of Jack Whiffle, a distant cousin of Flat Stan and Fagan. He'll read the post-hummus story of a former folder (you)

from that day last week when you had hummus for lunch. As you wiped the shredded carrot from your satisfied mouth, Jack Whiffle assumed you were dead, but in fact you were quite

irate with him when you finally managed to dig your way out of the grave he'd put you in, your body having already partially decomposed and people having moved on with their lives

without you, you'd be stuck all alone. Luckily your partially decomposed body would be just skinny enough for you to become a catwalk model. Every cloud has a silver lining.