I was slowly walking to school on my first

and pulls me into an empty classroom

and then out onto the playground. She turned to me and planted a wet one on my forehead. She whispered, "They're after us, we must take flight." She pulled me into a waiting taxi.

"Harlesden Station please & quickly", she said."That'll be a few quid extra miss". She handed him a 20 £ note & our cab lurched forward. A Bentley was following us. "Put this on

you stupid crone!" snarled Paddington Bear at the old woman. She was being a fool. The attentions of the porter had gone to her head. Only Paddington knew this mission was a

distraction from the real action. Padd hopped in a squad car, flipped on the siren, popped the top on a tallboy and yelled "Yippee Ki Yay fothermucker!" A couple

residents of Creeping Death Retirement Home crossed the street at that moment. Padd activated his windshield wipers and shifted gears, feeling nothing. He cracked open another

experimental can of home brew, and revelled in the spray of foam that drenched the inside of his windshield. 'Ah.' though Padd, still travelling at 80mph. 'That's just great...'

It wasn't the beer-drenched windshield that Padd was thinking about as much as it was the flashing blue lights in his rearview mirror. Always the responsible citizen, Padd pulled

out his AK-47 and headed off to work at his teaching job. After Connecticut, Padd believed more guns were the answer especially in schools. Bang! Ooops was that your kid?