somnambulism, he looked at the word again,

somnambulism, he looked at the word again, it was hard to read in the dim torchlight, what did it mean, was it even a word, the harder he looked at it the weirder it looked on the

cave wall. What kind of ancient civilization had been playing crossword puzzles in the caves of Antigua? Then the lights came on and the crew yelled, "Surprise!!! Happy Birthday,"

The sherpa wasn't ready for a surprise party. He'd been spelunking these caves for decades, thick with fear of his tormented ancestors. The crew's lights sparkled off his blade

but, they didn't. They were the vampires that had killed his family, and now he was in a cave with them! He had to hide his discovery while not exposing himself.

This took all his personal strength, because opening his raincoat and displaying his naughty bits was a vivid obsession. His hands trembled as he struggled to keep the coat closed.

His nipples were like Milk Duds, perfectly matching the color of his eyes. Large, round and perky. Ever since his early days had he worshiped their perfection, in hope that one day

Cowboy TV would be distracted by them. No such luck though, you nefarious Pimp Monitor! Cowboy TV is immune to distractions because

he was born with Hydrocephalus, which explained a lot. The fact that his mother resembled nothing more than a tarted up zombie didn't help matters much.

too much for him. He lept to his feet and clamored, "F*cking zombies! Why did you make mother a mother f*cking zombie?! What I am supposed to give her for Mother's Day?"