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Crossing the galactic sea had been easy.

  • Crossing the galactic sea had been easy. The silicone radar systems was a different matter. His hull contained the forbidden materials. That's why they were going to make him

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  • dock and strip down his ship. The laws had, of course, been made specifically for allowing the Federation to loot legally. He ejected the auxiliary core into the Fed landing bay.

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  • He took his title as petty officer seriously. So he

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  • always carried a cat, at the ready. The cat served a dual purpose. It was there to be petted as part of his role as petty officer. It was also a LASER CAT, just in case

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  • a rowdy passerby demanded that cats be laser-equipped, as I was non-confrontational but also crazy-prepared for any situation, like Batman™. Sometimes though the laser cat fired

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  • perfectly good secretaries. "What did I tell you about using laser printers?" Laser Cat would ask. They would chant, "They make you feel inadequate, boss," and be terminated via

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  • Laser Cat's killer termites. He ordered the laser printers to be replaced with 1960's selenium models. His evil operation used antiquated machinery, but it still worked. In fact,

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  • it worked TOO well. Soon, the town was flooded with antique signs, posters and leaflets advertising the upcoming performance by Laser Cat and His Killer Termites, Thursday at 7pm.

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  • It was set then, we had laid out the perfect trap. On thursday at 7 pm, just when no one would be expecting it; we would

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  • get the pie filling ready. We were determined to win this pie eating contest if it was the last thing we ever did! The kitchen was smelling delicious, all cherry and sugary.

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