When I awoke, it was pitch dark and I could

When I awoke, it was pitch dark and I could barely hear the sound of two male voices--but not loud enough to hear what they were saying.

That's because I am Helen Keller. Warrior of silence, keeper of the eternal darkness. I've been battling Satan since I was born.

I'd been silently picketing outside El Diablo for months but business had never been better. They did have an amazing carne asada burrito. That I had to admit. But I admonished

La Paloma Blanca (gently of course) for sheltering El Diablo Taqueria under her transcendant wings. I picketed in silence and she acknowledged me in silence, but business went on

despite this. I was hungry and decided to eat somewhere new. I wandered around and found myself in a part of the city I was unfamiliar with. I came to a place called Mal Papagayo.

One free coffee for each folded story I did. I ended up telling the waitress I would rather have water. She needed the coffee more than me. We folded 50 stories that day. Imagine

us folding paper napkins in the Diner until the early hours of the morning, Alice persisted on coffee, and I on the fumes of her cheap perfume.

By five a.m. Alice was drinking her cheap perfume and dabbing coffee behind her ears, and I was laughing uncontrollably. A strange man in the corner table by the jukebox spoke.

"I've been singing this song now for twenty five minutes. I could sing it for another twenty five minutes. I'm not proud... or tired." I knew what he meant. Ah, Alice's Restaurant.