Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced "bouquet") his

Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced "bouquet") his role model. Meryl Streep his muse. Anderson Cooper his archenemy. Anson Williams

was his estate. He and inherited Anson Williams through a typo in the testamentary document that was left by lesbian nun who moonlighted as a printer for Legal Zoom. So he

immediately began to slip phrases like "Sit on it", "up your nose with a rubber hose" and "ayyyy" into his conversations, so as not to spook the confused once and forever Potsy.

Sure, I'd seen happy days and sad days. But this was just the tip of the

Arnold's sign and the Fonz has a date with Mrs. C to plan. She was the last woman in Milwaukee that he hadn't bedded, and he was in the mood for MILF.

Of course in this case, MILF stood for 'Man in Ladies Fashion.'

and large ruffles have never been in style in army dress uniforms. But he had a special 'in' with the salvation army (glossy photos - oh sooo good) and planned to

give them all what they so glaringly BEGGED for-style and substance. "jingle bells, everywhere!", he exclaimed as sleep finally came.

"And for everyone," said the fat man has he limped back to the fireplace. There were cookie crumbs in his beard. He laughed once more, casting his red eyes over the scene.