"Stardate Now. We have engaged the Directionless

"Stardate Now. We have engaged the Directionless Drive. Set a course, Ensign Prow." "But Captain, we're already here." Ensign Tarekwa played along, but her mission from Section 31

kept her silent. "That was an order, Ensign Prow!" "Aye aye, Captain. Current coordinates locked in. We're going nowhere." The Directionless Drive hummed in its zero dimensional

non-existant plane. They stared out into the darkness, confident that they were doing their duty. Going nowhere was better than not going at all. The Directionless Drive headed in

to the Abyss of Nothingness. Petarde said "Current location?" "Bit looked into his view screen & said, "Ships sensors indicate we our approaching the Void Captain." Counselor Toy

a temp filling in for Counselor Troi, was busy filing her fingernails."Counselor Toy!" Petarde snapped, "your observations?" Startled,Toy dropped the metal nail file on the control

of Commander Data's mental orientation unit. Sparks shot out the flap in his neck. Data felt weird, trippy. He felt as if he'd just eaten peyote. Commander Troi tried to sense

how Data perceived the malfunction by actually taking peyote herself, but this daffy technique resulted mainly in 37 lost hours. When Troi recovered, she was nude in LaForge's bed.

The peyote had taken her halfway across Planet X, aka Niburu, and back. Troi kept a diary of her astronomical journey. It was 50 pages, in miniscule script characters. Illegible

by means of the Parable of the Mime. One day when the mime was handing out hearts me mistakenly took one for himself and died. Turtles lost their feathers to commemorate the deed.