hola esta es la historia de una chica que
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hola esta es la historia de una chica que salio de su casa una noche y por culpa de la inseguridad de las politicas kirchneristas esa chica nunca mas volovió
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En las noches como oy, dicen que se oirje cantando de tuus pecados, lo que ciste. Ella lo miro todo y recuerda donde estavas quando comenco. Qui son tuus pecados?
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For some inexplicable reason, I sat in a Chinese restaurant speaking broken Spanish. A little man with squinty eyes dropped his chopsticks, covered his ears and screamed, "NO sins
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can be allowed in THIS establishment!" I was confused - was speaking Spanish a sin? For all the bible study I had done in my life, nothing told me that language could be a sin.
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I grabbed a miniature Bible from my pocket and quickly flipped through the pages. There were no mentions of any sin languages. "But uh I don't see what the problem is sir ma'am..."
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She slapped the mini Bible from my hands as her eyeballs rolled back horrifically in her head. "Aint no sin language in the Good Book!" she gurgled, spinning on the floor like
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Linda Blair's head in The Exorcist & spat green vomit on my face. "Get thee behind me!" I shouted, pushing my upside-down cross necklace into her face. The cross branded her cheek
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And she let out a shriek and swiped the cross necklace away from me. "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS WHELKS IN HULL." She screamed, and opened her legs to only have a mini carnival parade
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of tiny devils and fire spewing from her vagina. This was no ordinary exorcism. I thought it might be time to take off my priest collar and look for other work. Suddenly the bed
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rose and started speaking Latin too! "Damn It!" I thought to my self, "vagina demons and talking beds are way above my paygrade!" I walked out of the room ignoring the chaos, She
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- Started
- 2015-09-09 21:19:43
- Finished
- 2019-12-13 17:52:02
8 Comments
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LordVacuity Dec 13 2019 @ 18:11
let out a queef and the vaginal carnival slowly faded away and the bed settled back down. The bed also dropped the Latin and returned to murmuring quietly in Basque.
LordVacuity Dec 13 2019 @ 18:15
Btw, I have been in that Chinese restaurant with a small Chinese man speaking Spanish fluently to the table behind me. Happened in San Diego. He wasn’t actually talking to the table but to the diners sitting at that table. I’m just saying.
LordVacuity Dec 13 2019 @ 18:33
My off the top of my head translation of the first line. Hello, this is the history of a girl who left her house one night and because of the political insecurity of the kirchernistas(?) never returned. [i am guessing kirchernistas has something to do with churches, but that is just a guess that assumes a German/Spanish mashup. ] Translation of my line: On nights like tonight, the say, you should recount(?) your sins, what you did. She saw it all and remembers where you were when it started. What are your sins? [At least, that is what I was going after. ]
Woab Dec 14 2019 @ 12:11
Is anyone else impressed that this story started in Spanish and finished with a reference to Latin?
LordVacuity Dec 14 2019 @ 12:40
Do you think they're related? Mother & daughter? Maybe. The truth is, we were much too young. Looking for balconies as we walked to school. Pegasus didn't interest us in the face of the beast. Maybe he should have. Or us. Who's to say?
LordVacuity Dec 14 2019 @ 12:42
I mean. Who brings up SHOULD when it comes to Pegasus?
TarotGuy Dec 14 2019 @ 12:49
Woab: Si, estoy impresionado. I sum impressa.
LordVacuity Dec 14 2019 @ 12:53
So says the Hanged Man reversed. Dog lapping at his feet.