"I'll get around to it," I said as I looked

"I'll get around to it," I said as I looked at the broken dish washer. Two weeks later, I was eating off paper plates. Then yesterday, I found it healed itself.

Well, I did try this new-age crap my sis had been pushing. Up until the dishwasher healed, I'd read a self help book to it daily. I think "Mindful Appliances" really resonated with

the Maytage Man, but I was no blue collar fool. I was an elitist. Only the best of the best of the best for me. My sis hated my excellent taste. Why that's why her stupid baby show

er shindig was set for mid-August in her baby daddy's trailer. There were paper streamers hanging from the screen door, and someone brought a sheet cake shaped like a NASCAR driver

's crumpled gauntlet. Her baby daddy was out, luckily, as his acquaintances wouldn't impregnate themselves or bud off like bacteria. Reproduction was 100% sexual in this locality.

I hadn't had a body in so long that I found the anticipation reminded me of why. The chemical reactions seemed so determined to get me aroused; and the pheromones! Barbaric! Yet,

Terminal velocity. I fell at 180 mph.Fortunately I had an out of body experience just before impact & landed in a yogi meditating on the peak of Kangchenjunga while in the outhouse

a few feet down the mountain, a monk bellowed like an elephant. The rest of us just went right on with our meditation, but the smell began to drift over us and soon we were all

chanting in uniformity. Our eyes became milky, and as we levitated into the air, we simultaneously lost control of our bowels. A complete release. Nirvana had been achieved.