Look at that British girl who lived off of

Look at that British girl who lived off of chicken nuggets for almost eighteen years, ” Wenkel continued. “The fact that her body was able to utilize the meager nutritional value o

f pink slime in fun shapes proves that the shape of food affects nutrition. The crescent form of a banana just screams “potassium.” Mold burgers into tofu-like, LFTB-friendly cubes

Of processed soy that would sell at Whole Foods only. It was sold under their exclusive brand. John Mackey made millions off of it until he was confronted with a lawsuit. Things

finally settled down when just before the Soy Wars started in earnest, there was an unwritten truce that no soy sauce would go binary, beit with MSG, or some other flavor. Even Who

, the band, was placated by the surprisingly peaceful resolution to the Soy Wars that'd left so many nations with their fields salted. So, class, the 2nd agricultural renaissance

is how humans became green, leafy, and peaceful, instead of just furless apes." Raiden the catboy protested. "Teacher, I hope you are not othering the rest of us. Representation is

essential to a student's sense of self-worth." But the teacher gave Raiden the catboy a cold, green, leafy stare. "We were discussing Vegenology," she said as she poked him with a

cattle prod, and then she told him she loved him because that’s what teacher’s do to catboys. Raiden was awfully liberated, and he didn’t take “no” for an answer. So, she beat him.

that is a bummer.” The congregation gasped. “Hey, Rev, what’s this ‘bummer’ stuff? Ain’t in no scripture I know!” The cleric was exposed. It was time for the torches & pitchforks.