"What we have here, gentlemen, is a failure

"What we have here, gentlemen, is a failure of wit." The airport brainscans showed massive cerebral erosion with activity in the brainstem only. "So why is he still at large?"

George Lopez had to be stopped. One of the airport security guards suggested killing him for humanity's sake. They decided to frame him by planting "explosives" in his underwear.

No good...the xray scanner showed he was without briefs, danh, does nothing go as planned? How about smearing him with radioactive gell? That's a possible, yes. That's the plan

B to hiding the fact that he is breaking the Guinness book of world records for continuous free-balling. During the MC Hammer days, life was a breeze, but this tight-pantsed thing

was lowering his sperm count faster than a Rosie O'Donnell TV marathon. Not to mention the chafing that can occur when freeballing in skinny jeans while working the long shift at

If the Internet was denim, then message boards were Harris tweed. Chamois was for

twitter just soaking up any celebrity spill. Facebook is silk bowling league jacket with your own embroidered (and misspelled) on the front.

But of course it was.That was meme being born.That silk jacket silently infiltrating with bits and bytes the public consciousness,an unconsciou balancing act of good and bad news.

Which would you like to hear first? The bad news? This story is done. The good news, however, is that the story is never really finished. The silk jacket billowed in the breeze.