Her penetrating stare bored into my brain.

Her penetrating stare bored into my brain. What the hell had I screwed up now. It wasn't Her birthday or our anniversary. It's June dammit what holiday did I mis? "What?" I ask

. She replied through clenched teeth, "Today marks the third year we decided to match socks when putting them in a drawer!" I smiled, "But, I didn't forget. Surprise!" I handed her

her ass on a plate. "Nobody," I screamed, "but nobody ever accuses me of forgetting an anniversary!" She always knew I'd had a short temper, but perhaps she'd underestimated my

tempered steel broadsword! *WOOSH*, went the blade as its sheer weight gave it the necessary momentum to cleave the boat in two. She was horrified. Luckily I got the half with the

DJ equipment, the boat started sinking. My side submerged faster with the extra weight but I thought it was worth it. She threw the broadsword at me, but at the last second I

ducked, flicked up the reserve mainsail with a brilliantly aimed karate chop & the boated righted itself. The DJ equipment magically restored itself & Dolly Parton

The Tennessee Scrap Booking Olympics had never seen someone like Dolly Parton who was their official DJ at the Paste & Glue Social, she mixed the uncanny

wit and social satire needed for just such an occasion. She would stroll though the crowds smiling and waving, even as everyone marveled at

her marvelous bouncing bosoms. It was like two cantaloupes were rattling around in the basket on the front of a bicycle driven by a hyperactive kid with Tourette Syndrome.