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Test 1: Testing. This is a test. Testing

  • Test 1: Testing. This is a test. Testing 1 2 3. BOOM! Test failed. Test 2: Testing. This is a test. Testing 1 2 3.

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  • Jimmy what are you doing I said it's dinner time get inside you can pretend to be a scientist later. but mom, okay I said but then I heard something that sounded like

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  • my bad-touch uncle, Unkle Eduardo, climbing over the fence. "Eduardo," my mother shouted. "You aren't welcome here! Leave before we call the police!" But Eduardo was already dead.

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  • The police officer explained. "Since he's dead, that means the restraining order is no longer active. We can't do anything to him, he's already dead. If he comes back tomorrow call

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  • me on my cell." "Wait-" I said seductively, "does that mean we have a zombie apocalypse on our hands?" "Hell yeah!" the officer exclaimed. "So we get to do sexy cop-zombie roles?

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  • " I purred. "Yeah..." answered the cop dreamily, and then: "No! WTF? What are you doing to my tiny mind?! This aint no TV series. Now get in the zombiemobile before I book ya."

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  • “Book me? Listen, Pal…I’m a walking, talking lump of rotting meat. I only fear helicopter blades, and any recruiter with a high-powered rifle. So, STFU! Before I bite a chunk out

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  • of your rude, stupid, jerk face!" Clearly the meat was rotten both inside and out, literally and figuratively. "So that's a yes?" the talent scout asked. "...yes." replied the meat

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  • With all the seasoning it could master. "Great, you'll see you at 10am for the Pretty Patty Pageant." and he left. The meat smiled to itself. They had no idea it was to rid the wo-

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  • rld of the two "all-beef" patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun...and the clown who had started it all in 1955. Cow genocide it was. A Kroc!

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3 Comments

  1. PurpleProf Aug 01 2019 @ 22:24

    This story simply illustrates how weird we all are. I love it!

  2. Woab Aug 02 2019 @ 17:13

    Hooray for weird! Have a weird one, folks! (By the way Prof, I see what you did there. A Krok was a Ray of weirdness.)

  3. PurpleProf Aug 02 2019 @ 17:18

    I enjoy speculating on the thought processes behind each fold, or lack thereof, and whether alcohol was maybe involved or if those thoughts were simply organically strange (to me, anyway).

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