Do you believe? Do you really believe?

Do you believe? Do you really believe? How do you know you're not fooling yourself? Pretending, year after confusing year, that

you don't notice that you're different than anyone else. You always notice the little things that make you feel a little twinge like something's not right. Then one day you realize

there is hair down "there." The strange twinge turns into a fir-breathing, red blooded lust that grabs hold of your

ankle, toe and nose hairs in a lust-frenzy until those oft-neglected filaments find their primal satisfaction. Alec Baldwin, mystic master of body hair, once asked the Dalai Lama

via e-mail, "Dear Dali Llama, my computer wants to reformat my external hard drive. How do I access the external hard drive without formatting? Love and kisses, Alec Baldwin."

Alec Baldwin got an automated reply from the Dali Llama. "Thank you for your message. The Dali llama is currently traveling the astral planes. He will contact you by by mystic tran

mission as soon as possible." Alec groaned. He had needed to contact the Dalai Lama for a long time. If he couldn't hear back from him soon, he might not be able to

complete the anti-matter transfer in time. Only the Dalai Lama knew the secret to anti-matter containment. "You must contain the anti-matter within yourself", he had once said, but

It surged through his body warping his molecules to all parallel universes simultaneously until he recombined in a universe full of pink walrus governors. He fell and wailed, "NO!"