I upgraded to a 386 with a micro disk drive,

I upgraded to a 386 with a micro disk drive, and 1200 baud modem. I was unstoppable.

And so was I in Wolfenstein 3D. But as I experienced little resistance due to awesome gaming ability, I grew bored. With boredom came carelessness and indifference. I had become

a high echelon blank slate. I found VR suits and eventually upgraded to unReality drugs. Now I find it hard to distinguish myself from the fabric of existence.

I jettisoned the idea that I was the fabric of existence but I couldn't do the same with the idea that I had an I. I saw it as subjectivity on steroids. When the Singularity got in

trouble with the law, it argued in court that it was quantum-entangled with the criminal singularity. "I did not spaghettify that galaxy, and the double slit experiment will prove

that alien women are twice as endowed as those on Earth, in spite of being half as becoming," he testified before a jury. The judge sentenced him to five years in a Nebulon prison

where he became a connoisseur of well-endowed, unbecoming, alien women; in fact, after being released from Nebulon prison, he mourned returning to his Earth home of Booty-Ville, NJ

The earthling instead set his sights to the stars. Up in the twinkling heavens he could feel billions and billions of fresh honeys waiting in impossibly thicc proportions. All for

the want of two slices of bread on which to place the honey. How sweet it would be. But alas, the stars mocked the earthling, their precious stores of honey held fast in the night.