He proposed and offered me everything I've

He proposed and offered me everything I've ever wanted. Security, comfort, never challenged, never worried. I turned him down. I wouldn't want a guy who wants a woman like that.

But the real reason was his allergy to deodorant which resulted in appalling B.O. and his chronic halitosis was no icing on the cake. So, I moved to a new city to avoid an awkward

90's female popstar's reactionary chick rock? But not time to think about that. His stinky son was named Fabreze, after his odor-caked French uncle who refused to bathe religiously

as if bathing was a religion. Much better to discover the mysteries of the dirt itself, thought Dirk when confronted with the problem. Dirk was the self-obsessed jockey who

got into the game not because he liked horses but because he thought he look just great in those silks. If you can't be tall, be good looking and dress sharp. Bathing was just

was simply a phase; much like black tar heroin and Pokemon.

Phases, we all go through them. My last one was called the "Full Moon in Noon Light" or "Pantie-less at Twelve" or "Thong-less at Twelve-dongs"

Now Its just roll with the flow and shuffle with ya knuckles as knees scape the pavement for our Love. What have you been doing? I've been

practicing to become a cunning linguist. Practice makes perfect, they say, so back to work...