"Never mix serif and sans serif in a single

"Never mix serif and sans serif in a single document unless you know what you're doing." Slap! It stung. It hurt because it was true. Her name was Helvetica and she

was a swiss font fetishist. The slap hurt so good. He deliberately alternated between all caps Garamond body & Linus fractional sized reverse font. Provoking Helvetica & Corinthia

with strikethroughs, he lured them into his text dungeon and hung them next to Garamond. When Helvetica wouldn't sing, "G'day, Fontifex," he typed her onto a Comic Sans poster and

Baskervilled her. Concrete Roman and Handel Gothic pillars supported the great palace of Neutraface. There Arial sat contemplating his Ubuntu. It hurt a little. He decided that

he was just no good with computers so he chucked his tablet with an archangelic heave, sending the device hurtling out of the solar system, exceeding c. A rift in spacetime opened,

and the small child of an unsuspecting alien caught the spinning tablet in the vacuum of space. Due to his advanced level of intelligence, he became immediately addicted to it.

Besides smash the radio into 2,364,165 pieces and make his tinnitus worse? Radioheads were sprouting like jackflowers in the kitchen sink. They played some Sirius station, featurin

The Undertoe of Corrosion and the Knights of Seclusion featuring Mooustaphah Fa Fa Gah Jr. I screamed, "MY TINNITUS", and jumped through the window by the shower to fly straight in

-to heaven, guided by the ghost of David Bowie, who knows a thing or two about tinnitus and has taken over for Peter Pan, who is on vacation in Neverland. That sentence killed me.