The frustrated butcher knicked Tommy by his

The frustrated butcher knicked Tommy by his shirt's collar. The child gagged. "You won't learn your lesson, will ya kid?" he threatened. The doors to the white van opened.

The butcher shoved tommy in among the slabs of beef & sausage hanging from their hooks & closed the meat wagon's door. Tommy shivered & fashioned himself a meat suit to keep warm

. He'd just added lambs heart ear muffs to his ensemble when, with the squeal of metal on metal, the meat wagon derailed. Tommy was hurled into a snow bank leaving a bloody stain

on the Bank's lobby. The Snow Bank was invented by Iceland. Instead of cold hard cash, the Snow Bank had cold hard snow deposits. Ever since global warming the bank's popularity

skyrocketed; countries around the world burned their currency in exchange for snow coins. But global warming melted them and the Ice Age hit a day later and they had no money, so

people had to talk with their neighbots despite their wildly wrong ideas and try to form some kind of social mesh. But many were stricken with Advotainment Withdrawal Symptom, so

Dr. Ckgvjhvgalk were overwhelmed and couldn't schedule patients more than three years ahead for brain surgery. This was eugenics at work, the Onion reporter wrote in 2016. Sadly,

those words had temporal reverberations that escaped up into her past. Dr. Ckgvjhvgalk knew he had to follow them. He couldn't allow a time travelling Eugenic loose in the past.

-ological doubt. He left his practice and walked out to the hills, hoping to die from exposure. Instead he was adopted by a tribe of hippies and experienced spiritual forgiveness.