I couldn't remember. I knew I'd cleared my

I couldn't remember. I knew I'd cleared my history, but what about my cache? They couldn't bust you for cookies could they?

My hard drive was failing and I needed to go to Beep & Whirr Computers and get new hardware. It was 2 am and they weren't open. So I called a super geek to help on dial-a-geek

."ThankyouforcallingDial-a-GeekhowmayIhelpyou" said the unhelpful-sounding voice. I explained my problem. "I'll have to come look at it. Be right over." Click. It was now 2:30 a.m.

so in about 45 seconds, there is a knock on my door. A pImplefaced, glasses, pocket protector, greasy haired, dressed all in plaid, and horribly awkward 15 year old boy is standing

on a pogo stick and holding a briefcase at my front door. He gives a multiple tooth-gapped smile and asks, "Would you like to buy a rubber stamp today?"

Every time William H. Macy shows up at my door I get so sad. It is a catch-22 for me if buy something b/c I feel sorry for him he will come back, but I can't tell him why I can't

tell him why I can't tell him. William H. Macy must never know. It would kill him. His hang dog face would get hangier and doggier. I must never breathe a word of the startling tru

e story that his great-grandfather was the founder of Gimbel's department store. For Macy to merge the two businesses, to create Gacy's, would be a pathetically bad PR move.

Macy's PR department, being pathetic, advised for the merger. A week later, John Wayne Gacy was promoted to CFO and would also become the face of the Gacy's Dept. Store marketing