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"I'm lonely." he lamented in desperation.

  • "I'm lonely." he lamented in desperation. "I'm missing people in my life. I need someone." He turned to face me. I could only stare at him, speechless. He turned towards the window

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  • shopper and said, "You will never be able to afford anything you delusional ninny!" The window shopper limped off. I said, "I know you're lonely, but I think that was a tad

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  • awkward." He responded, "You don't know what I've been through. Those window shoppers--you know who they are? They aren't who you think. They are heinous psychopaths."

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  • It was like 2008 all over again. Shades of bubbles bursting. He had quit reading the newspapers. Too many businesses had shut down over the past year. His was perhaps next.

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  • Not since those nice English boys had highlighted our plight has it been this bad. Selling shrubberies is a big gamble with your life, family, and sanity. Then, on top of that, the

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  • bastards have that irritating verbal tic. I think they find non-sequiturs amusing? I won't be buying my shrubberies from them in future, I can tell you for sure. I'll be buying

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  • them at Adele's Huge Bush Emporium. If Grandad was always satisfied when he went to Adele's Big Bush, that's good enough for me. I think. Hedging my bets, I visited Adele and asked

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  • what was going on in her Huge Bush Emporium. Adele had no clue what I was talking about. Nor did she know who my grandpa was. Clearly granddad was hiding

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  • the salami somewhere and it wasn't in grandma's garden. Adele looked at me and I at her. I pointed out my granny behind the counter of the Huge Bush Emporium. "A Grammy winner," I

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  • knew Adele wanted me to congratulate her on the Grammy, but I was more interested in my granny. Adele made me laugh, but granny knitted me socks.

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