On May 12, 2015, at 3:03 PM, a small man

On May 12, 2015, at 3:03 PM, a small man named Frederick was making his way through breakfast. Suddenly, however, the waffle he was trying to eat flew into the air and said to him,

Fred was not a carnivore, let alone a cannibal. He just liked to lick syrup off old ladies, with their consent of course. He thought she had consented, but maybe she was demented.

Or perhaps Fred was watching too many reruns of Monty Python's Flying Circus on youtube? John Cleese, disguised as a shrink, made a house call. He rang the doorbell twice.

Lana Turner answered. "Oh, I was expecting the postman." she said. John answered her with "Я Почтальон апокалипсиса." Lana swooned. Cleese caught her and carried her to the

bed next to a large fish tank. John Cleese's skills hadn't diminished. He murmured romantic phrases in German, Russian, and French to Lana, whilst wistfully thinking of Wanda.

Unbeknownst to John Cleese, however, Lana was a mind-reader & knew his tawdry thoughts of Wanda. She went along with it, though, just to see how much of a lyin' cheater he was.

Well, John Cleese was just about the lyin'est, cheatin'est scoundrel there ever was. John's affair with Wanda carried on, and with her mind-reading, Lana learned every detail.

All the nasty details that went on above the saloon with John and that wench Wanda. Oh, how Lana wanted to take her six shooter and blast her sky high. She used her mind-reading to

psychically spy on the two, but when she realized what sorry chumps they both were, she decided that they weren't worth the bullets. She left that town and headed for a nunnery.