I know the pieces fit cuz I watched them

I know the pieces fit cuz I watched them tumble down, no fault, none to blame. That doesn't mean I don't desire to

post Tool's schism on the internet. I mean that band is the bee's knees. It just so swell daddy-o. I like to be in front of my mirror and do jazz hands to industrial rap-metal.

I made it my mission to channel this energy into "converting" people from their tastes to my own. I took my sister's iPod. "Gaga?" I scoffed. "That's not metal!" "But I like her."

I also grabbed her lollipop and replaced with some beef jerky. "forget the pop and Gaga pop. Try some jerky metal"

But the AM radio guys did not flinch. Expressionless. Kamal, 1/2 of the Jerky boys just wasn't funny. He had tried to pitch a radio show to the Limbaugh producers but

they said the Jerky boys were too conservative for Limbaugh. If they were too conservative for Limbaugh where else were they to get air time? Kamal let out a few choice words &

the radio DJ slapped him. The Jerky boys were too conservative for angry nerd humor on the internet. The Jerky boys were too conservative for the WWF. Kamal rubbed his cheek.

The Jerky boys. Oh those Jerky boys. The bane of Kamal's existence. The Jerky boys belonged on talk radio, where their conservative rantings could be appreciated by millions of

The light illuminated the blue veins running under their papery skin heated rosy pink by the whale blubber stove. Nothing's happier than a happy Norwegian. Ask a Swede or a Dane.