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The part of me that is a former graphic designer

  • The part of me that is a former graphic designer is intrigued and appalled by this technology.

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  • The crayon sharpener in the box of crayola crayons. Just thinking about it makes me shudder. As a former graphic designer, it appalls me to think crayons and sharpeners could be so

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  • popular at MetaDesign. The presentations at the meetings were so amateurish, I swear some of the "Deesigners" were letting their kids scribble on a pad of paper. "Brut-design"

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  • turned out to be a style wherein a child is fed macaroni and coleslaw and made to eat it very quickly, so they get full too quickly and get a stomach-ache. Then you induce vomiting

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  • .... I didn't know that Dr. Spock's child-rearing guide was so Draconian. So, I decided to raise my baby by the Mr. Spock method. She learned the nerve pinch at two. Mind-melding

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  • followed at three years of age, and on her fourth birthday she mastered the Vulcan salute. I won't deny my pride that her first words were "Live long and prosper", although she

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  • was getting a bit obsessed with Star Trek. I didn't want her falling in with the wrong sort of crowd, but how could she keep her interests in math and science without being a nerd?

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  • She couldn't, so I had to kill her. I pointed my trusty magnum at her. She thought we were playing Klingons and Vulcans. "Phaser set to kill? How illogical." were her last words.

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  • To me that is. She didn't deserve this. She was one of the rare girls who was both pretty and could speak Klingon. I instead aimed the magnum at myself and fired. I died. She

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  • burst out in fits of hysterical shouting over my dying body. The irony was, it was in a Klingon dialect that I couldn't understand, and as my life slowly ebbed from my body, all I

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4 Comments

  1. Mako Aug 20 2012 @ 17:34

    the last guy is fired

  2. Chaz Aug 20 2012 @ 20:44

    Common mistake. Everybody has done it once.

  3. Mako Aug 20 2012 @ 23:17

    ok, he can stay, but he doesn't get a pension anymore.

  4. Zetawilk Aug 21 2012 @ 02:40

    What! No slip-n-slide and gym class parachute dome!? That's harsh!

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