Suddenly I snapped out of my haze and had

Suddenly I snapped out of my haze and had the acute revelation that I needed to get out of there. I gathered up Jenn and carried her to the passenger side of my car and opened the

escalade door. "Jenn needs ass surgery--NOW!" Only I was allowed to call J-Lo Jenn because I was her coke dealer, and well, if you sell blow, you call the shots and so they

gave in and gave J-Lo the ass-prosthesis that we'd all longed for her. Looking back, the aerials WERE a bit much, you know? Now she can make free calls to

Ganja, Azerbaijan where the women all had butts the size and color of baboons in heat. J-Lo was invited to a festival in honor of the Bazardüzü. During the traditional dance she

put her left foot in, took her left foot out, put her left foot in and shook it all about. The natives had never seen anything like it and called J-Lo

"Our Most Regal Queen of Hoking and Poking." She was flattered, of course, and donated $3 billion to a fund for the purpose of preserving the native culture.

members of Parliament, under royal decree, would put their right foot in and shake all about. Advisers spun the situation and debated if that was what it was all about.

Then the King stepped into the Parliament building and ordered everyone to be killed, except those whose right foot has been shaking like they just didn't care.

To learn what it's all about, those who did a hokey job were turned around, given a good pokey, and thrown in the Chokey. No one who put their left foot in there ever got it out.