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"Excuse me your royal Majesty, but what do

  • "Excuse me your royal Majesty, but what do you suppose proper etiquette is for BEATING ROYAL ASS!!!!" I taunted

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  • my friend, king Richard. "Haha, Merlin, I know that one-you send an ASSASSin, and he politely asks: 'May you bow, Your Highness, so I can 'rich' your royal ass and start spanKING?'

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  • I responded "Um... first of all... what the heck???? I mean, this is out of the blue and is kind of surprising..." Get away freak!!! I thought... and he

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  • split in half. Right down the middle. One half of him fell on the sidewalk, the other half in the gutter, where a stray dog chomped down on his ankle & ran away. I wasn't surprised

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  • . Stray dogs are generally hungry, and gutter meat is first-come first-chomp. But what bugged me is the dog had split with the half containing the mans wallet, and he owed me.

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  • I had to call in my debt asap. It was in Bergelmian shekels and my hot info. was the currency would tank tomorrow when they'd announce a vote to leave the Great Saturnian Huddle

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  • " rapped Sir Creamy Thighs. "Leave a veto, oh, oh, info." He crooned. The groupies all sighed with pleasure. He was a prodigy, a musical hero really. They wanted to bang him so bad

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  • their underbritches were soaking wet. Of course Sir Creamy Thighs played into the public perception of him as a womanizing playboy. Reality however, was that Sir CT (AKA Wes Tinky)

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  • was actually Queen Gretchen (AKA Jenny Mangelvise) in drag. Jenny had started dressing like Sir Creamy Thighs on the day her husband King Stu (AKA Joey Muscatone) was beheaded for

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  • believing in the Tooth Fairy. The Thought Police were quite pleased to have it verified, again, that even Kings were not beyond their reach.

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