This is the saddest story I have ever heard.

This is the saddest story I have ever heard.

It started off as such a good day too. Birds were singing, the sun was shining, and I felt perfectly fine! But then I was struck by an overwhelming foreboding. Sweat popped on my

wife's hairy upper lip. It beaded up and mixed with her wax. It made me think automotive things. I put my country sausage down. Suddenly I wasn't very hungry. The Day's Inn

was a good place to get a case of hepatitis. "Should've made reservations at the Radisson down the road," said the bearded lady. I held back a retort but offered her my leftovers.

She scratched food particles from her beard. "If I wanted your food I would have stuck my finger in it, but you're a human pincushion. So..." Just then a squad of health inspectors

Knocked on the door. They were doing the annual inspection and she let them in. The previous tenants warned about this and were proven right. Smart meters told them off, recording

it for legal reasons. The inspectors said that they had drawn more than the law allowed and that they must pay this fine right now. The fine was 5 dollops but they had been warned

on a silk chaise lounge, taking selfies for her finsta. She was an adorable seal. But she was ruthless in the hunt for justice. The inspectors took their oath on the state seal.

The state seal of justice was particularly ruthless against the club factory, whose main customers were seal beaters. If they thought SJWs were tough, wait until they deal with me!