"Jenney's First Year Latin" was, contrary

"Jenney's First Year Latin" was, contrary to popular belief, not written by Jenney, Scudder and Baade as advertised on its spine. No, quite to the contrary. As many young Latin
lovers could attest, it was a coverup for some pretty hard-core porno featuring Jenney Writhes and Ricardo Don Guapo. Unfortunately, Intro-to-Latin instructor Mrs. Birch showed the
previewing it as was her practice, & soon the beginners Dance class was paired up and began performing the horizontal Fandango. She turned to her assistant Bruce, "Et tu brutae?"
Unfortunately hearing Shakespeare quoted in French caused the English major to step on her foot. The Fandango was not going as planned. However, he searched his French vocabulary
for something that didn't sound like he was smelling a turtle's taint and came up with nothing. The English major scowled.
Everyone knows that the scowl of an English major is like a curse. So, when the English major scowled, all the turtles of the whole world died in unison. That is why poor Franklin
is extinct. Why aren't English majors extinct? After all, everyone knows majoring in English equates to occupational suicide. Still, scowling English majors continue to plague the
'net with their grammatical nitpicking. The only thing more occupationally suicidal than Eng is Sociology. What do you even do with that? Nobody cares college rounds out experience
of fucking with people on the internet. One does not just simply go ahead and do
it, one waits for a written invitation. Good manners don't cost nothing. Virtue is its own reward. No spitting or hawking etc.

Started: 2012-09-21 10:13:30
Finished: 2013-08-30 06:57:14

11 Comments

lucielucie Aug 30 2013 @ 09:20

'Turtle's taint' lolz amo amas amat
Jesrin Aug 30 2013 @ 13:41

amamus amatis amant
PurpleProf Aug 31 2013 @ 17:40

I was an English minor. I only scowl now and then...
jayursus Aug 31 2013 @ 19:58

I was an English major, but my minor in Linguistics tempered my tendency to scowl at grammar and spelling mistakes: what an English major sees as a mistake in need of correction, a linguist sees as evidence in need of a theory :)
PurpleProf Aug 31 2013 @ 20:23

...and just out of curiosity, Jayursus, what is your occupation today? If you don't mind sharing... ;) Actually, considering your prior folds, I am not surprised in the least that you were an English major...and that's a compliment.
Zetawilk Aug 31 2013 @ 22:18

I was a Sociology major. I haven't stopped scowling. I wish I'd been an English major. (Though when your keyboard is a numpad, I can forgive foregoing grammar.)
jayursus Sep 01 2013 @ 09:09

PurpleProf, thank you - though I was a bad English major. I so loathed "Huckleberry Finn" that I dropped American Lit II three or four times, at last taking it in my senior year from an adjunct who (bless his soul) hated i too. Strangely now, when not forced to read him, I actually appreciate Twain more. Perhaps a lesson to learned there for curriculum developers? Hmmmm... I am a bit of a rara avis in academe - a classicist. While English teachers/majors elicit scowls from people, we classicists are beset by "Oh, yeah, I studied Latin in high school." followed immediately by either 1) "amo amas amat (q.v. super) or 2) "semper ubi sub ubi". Le sigh....
lucielucie Sep 01 2013 @ 11:24

I am nothing if not predictable.
jayursus Sep 01 2013 @ 11:29

LOl LucieLucie didn't intend to throw shade your way...I take as a testimonial to boring Latin teachers who believe that drilling verb paradigms is the only way to learn them, rather than any disparagement on the poor victims of such teaching.
lucielucie Sep 01 2013 @ 15:05

I went to a girls' school and we had compulsory Latin for 2 years when we were about 12 to 14. Our Latin Master used to run to the door and plaster himself against it to stop us getting out before giving us homework. So we'd open the windows and climb out. It was like St Trinians.
jayursus Sep 02 2013 @ 20:41

Oh my, Lucie! Haven't seen the films but sounds like a few places I've taught at...