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I use this device to beat back the workers.

  • I use this device to beat back the workers. It's cruel but a necessary component of

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  • my carrot and stick policy. The board looked askance. "So you actually beat them with sticks?" "Bamboo, yep." I said. "...and reward them - with carrots?" "Organically grown."

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  • "The kid's eat it up. Have you looked at their test scores?" "Yes Mr. Easter,your unconventional methods have merit, but could you explain to the board the purpose of the egg hunt?

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  • The Board is not convinced that the effort for this annual event has sufficient academic impact. Finances not being what we might hope for, the candy budget needs to be cut - why

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  • do we need Skittles *and* Chewy Spree anyway? They're the same thing right?" In response, several individually wrapped Starburst rained down on The Board. A cry of "Weee want candy

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  • riiiiight no-ow!" could be heard right outside the boardroom. The children were protesting & it was about to get ugly. "OK, we gotta make a decision: Skittles, Spree, or Starburst

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  • - any of you guys want to stick your neck on the line?" Skittles cleared her throat apologetically, while Spree and Stardust just shuffled their feet. "Though so - no balls, any

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  • do - no calls, though ro - no falls". Skittles, Spree and Stardust leapt to their feet. It was the French House Classic: 'so, do, ro' on the radio. They hadn't heard this since

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  • they had adopted candy names, tattooed them on their foreheads and vowed to stay high on X for eternity. The Tasty Trio giggled inanely and writhed in bizarre ways unlike dancing.

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  • This used to be cool for a while. But then the coolness started to melt, like the sugar from a candy. And - day by day - they woke up to the cruel realty.

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