Morton's resolve to "alway's take the stairs"

Morton's resolve to "alway's take the stairs" as his doctor had ordered was severely taxed when he had a meeting on the 99th floor of the Willis Tower. On floor 78 he collapsed

into a heap. After a bit, he saw the light. Morton wasn't sure whether it was THE light, or just the flickering office lights. Morton tried to get up. "Damn Doctors..." he muttered

as he retreated into the darkness. Morton was lost. As in FOREVER, for all of eternity. Morton roamed the earth, lonely & pissed, invisible to everyone. Then an epiphany...

he could use his invisibility to hide in the boys' locker room and scare them with a hearty "boo." Morton's hand patted through his invisible back. "Girls spook easily. Boys are

too tough to show their own fear or surprise." The guys walked in unaware of Morton's cloaked presence. "You know Morton, he's really not that bad of guy once you get to know him.

Hell, give him a dollar and he'll do anything you demand!" Everyone guffawed except cloaked Morton, now enraged and beginning to uncloak. "What's that smell?" asked Lieutenant

Magillicutty. "It's what Morton's cooking!" and Morton gorilla punched Lt. Magillicutty right in the elbow for all those awful and hurtful things he said. The invisibility cloak

Morton, and Lt. Magillicutty--blood spurting from his severed arm--could only stand there as the gorilla flipped them off, mooned them, spit peanut shells at their faces. Savage.

And so, three years later, after much government petitioning, a law was finally placed that zoo animals had to be protected by glass and fences.