How could they know that their new home for

How could they know that their new home for the evening was not one of the three pair of jeans I cycled through twice weekly, but the oft forgotten black sheep of the closet?

There was no reprise in denim then and there sure as he'll won't be tomorrow after the fleecing leaves me glittered and soggy while the Bronson boy sneaks down the back trellis to

escape the sadistic head master. Across the Moor he ran, until he found Beatrix Potter's cottage. Unfortunately, an hour in her sacharine living room was worse than the canings!

But his feeling about the sacharine cottage changed when Beatrice Potter brought out the kettle corn. She sat right next to him and they started munching. He'd never noticed her

cooking before (except for the creole rabbit which had just the right amount of spit in it). He told her openly that he had had his doubts about the restaurant chain but sacharine

No one, that is, until Xtreme Chow host Andy Snarkle arrived. "Beautiful reddish amber glaze. Mmm, the thighs are full of flavor. Do I detect a hint of cricket?" Even his TV crew

couldn't believe that he hadn't used the words "unctuous" or "umami" to describe it. Andy Snarkle, overblown TV food bozo extraordinaire, was suddenly raptured because

he'd found a bushy extremity emerging from just above his own posterior. Now he'd have three prehensile limps useful for cooking food on "live" television! It worked out for the

best, really, because three prehensile limps got him a handicap placard, free valet parking at the mall, and first to board privileges on all the airlines.