I woke up with my hair dyed chartreuse, mint

I woke up with my hair dyed chartreuse, mint & ochre & carved into a facsimile o fthe leaning tower of Pisa topped by a gondola. I was the victim of extreme dog grooming... again..

My owner was a free spirit with money to burn. Usually great; occasionally greatly embarrassing. I relieved my frustrations in the corner and then lay down on the couch. "Fifi no!"

I sulked and crawled onto my heated Angorra doggy pad. I felt an anxiety crisis coming on and began humping my doggie toy, a miniature version of my Mistress' last boyfriend,

Fred. How was I to know that my doggie toy was a voodoo doll? My mistress & ex-boyfriend Fred parted on less than ideal terms, but I never imagined that each time I humped the doll

Fred would get an angry call from my mistress saying that she was on pins and needles, and that he should stop poking and prodding her. "Oh, and stop humping my leg!"

was a sign that Fred and his mistress had placed on their dog Koko. Koko was annoying but at least the sign would humiliate her. But Koko got revenge on them. She was a dog, but

she knew where Fred's wife worked. Taking the bus downtown, Koko skittered up the stairs, barking. "What is it girl? My husband's with some floozie? Let's go!"

She and Koko arrived at the shabby apartment downtown. Instead of ringing the bell like decent people she peeked in the window to find her husband in bed with a drag queen wearing

A red dress. She fainted, and when 911 arrived, her husband found her dead. He wept and the tears got all over the red dress. He blushed when reading the papers about the story.

His temporal circuits, having finished auto-repair which has been going on over 9 folds before the previous line had been added, told him the Time When and that he was Gen. Custer.