I walked down the street with him and all

was ready to give him. Goodness. Lots of sweet, tender goodness. Like the sweat dripping from my thighs, a desperate hot dip in the old skinny hole and my mind goes blank. How

ever did I get in this position? I mean literally...I tried to think back. It may have started that day I was over at Uncle Jessie's, picking blueberries. I was but an innocent boy

& stupid thinking blueberries grew in trees. I fell off the ladder landing head first in Uncle Jess's prize pumpkin. I was stuck so I rationed the pumpkin pulp as the years went by

and shooed away birds that sometimes landed to pick seeds off me. Uncle Jess just laughed as I waved and swung my gloppy arms, flinging pumpkin pulp into the neighbors' yard.

Halloween would soon be here, so the further the pulp spread, the greater the celebration of the Great Pumpkin. All would soon see and skeptics would have to repent when

they were up to their necks, drowning in pulp: a Pumpkin Apocalypse. Linus' eyes narrowed and drool escaped his gape. Pulp mixed with blood in his brain, boiling the bones of Lucy,

had been regrettable but necessary. Linus felt it was a tad disrespectful to boil Lucy's bones, but she had caught him skinning snoopy and so, she must be eaten. Peppermint Patty

would be buried under Snoopy's dog house but first he needed to dispose of Schroeder and his stupid piano. Linus grabbed an axe and lighter fluid,soaked his blanket in chloroform

and laid them out neatly in the shed for some yard work later. He then snuck in to Schroeder's house and crushed his head with the lid of his stupid piano. "God save the queen!"