The great egg sat in the corner of the living

The great egg sat in the corner of the living room. It was a purple ovoid the height of a Croatian villager, dusted with green speckles the size of Olympic silver medals. Brooding

dark eyes glared at it from the other corner, imagining methods of which to covet it. Unfortunately, this individual's hands were tied, literally. This person traversed the entire

to a string theorist, whose string was frayed beyond use. "I can't tie the knot with this, but I can't tie a noose either, so that's cool," he said. The couple settled by a quasar

rictus emil fictus blunderblansusgetidoosh protocol. This was the couple's attempt to divorce quasi-amicably. He would keep the string. She would keep the shoes.

The lawyer would keep the fees. He put his feet up on his desk and watched through the window as the couple parted ways for the last time. She hobbled south in the loose shoes. He

ran down into a sewage ditch, and crawled into the pipe. There was the sound of him inching through the pipe, then no sound at all. He was never seen again. The lawyer

Took his time and couldn't slam the doors when quietly opening the manhole. Mr. Rat and family greeted him and thanked him for letting him while he crawled out. Where was he?

He looked around Mr. Rat's dining room. The furniture was more robust than he would have expected. "Is that unicorn bone?" Mr. Rat simply cleared his throat and pointed towards the

food simmering inside the cauldron resting above the smoldering ambers in the fireplace. “It’s Unicorn vagina! Very moist & tender," Rat grinned. And with that, he sat down to eat.