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icles." I corrected. I believed in teaching my children the anatomically-correct terms for male and female genitalia. Why are parents so embarrassed to teach their kids words like

corpus Spongiosum? I regard it as a cervix to the next generation to teach my progeny the vas deferens between a labia minora and a labia majora. "Close scrotuny of the Epididymis

"It is an ocarina, my son." My spouse and I exchanged glances. Apparently our child would not be able to raise himself. We bought him a paperback thesaurus so he could expand his

somewhat limited vocabulary, but even by the age of four months he had made little progress. I stopped him jamming the entire instrument into his mouth to show him the correct

hole to use. "Help me and use your hands to spread your butt cheek", I said. The preparation complete, I gently slide it in, careful to avoid the stinking glop that oozed outward.

Inside the miniaturized submersible, Professor Loomis deployed the the navigational cilia that would help guide them up through the rectum and into the alimentary system to the tum

bler. "There it is!" cried Prof. Loomis"Dr. Schmeichel always boozed by the gallonful, but go know one day he'd swallow the shot glass, too."He set the mini submersible on a course

for oblivion!" he shouted as everyone raised another glass to the new year and all their pals at Folding Story. "Should auld acquaintance be Folded," they sang, trying to fit it al