I always wanted to name a kid Spock.

I always wanted to name a kid Spock.

Sadly our only baby came out looking like one of those clusters of Nerds you sometimes find in the box. Don't get me wrong, they're very tasty, just like our baby. Sometimes I

I surround my baby with Coca Cola Classic, like when I'm eating nerds and swish it with coke. The crazy thing is that the soda in both scenarios gets merengue'y foamy and

slightly baby flavored. This is truly the way Coke should be. I take my baby out of the Coke and give it to mother to deal with.

Then I'll sell the remaining Coke as a Special Season edition for double the price. I'll need more babies if I really want to take this venture to a higher level though. Kidnapping

isn't so easy because first you need a van that can store a lot of babies, and that means shelving. And I kept dreamin' down the road, saying that new Coke was made of fresh Baby.

Unfortunately, Coke just wouldn't add baby to its ingredients. Luckily the van of babies can be used for distracting new mothers while you steal their purse and throw coke in their

dodging the screaming infants. Juanita, a spinster who had always longed for children of her own, was delighted with this turn of events. "My babies!" she cried as the thieves made

off with her silverware. Juanita had lost all her family heirlooms, but she was now 34,500 squalling infants richer. So...all's well that ends well?