Jane stretched and rubbed her eyes. The had

  • Jane stretched and rubbed her eyes. The had fallen asleep last night with list in her hand. She smiled when she read it. "New Year Resolution 1: Wake up."

  • 2. Wake up. 3. Wake up. Jane's list repeated this command over & over again. She was caught in a nightmarish Groundhog's Day miasma of New Year's Resolution hell. She had to

  • get out somehow! 4. Wake up. 5 Wake up. 6. Wake...She slammed the alarm clock off and got out of bed. The New Year's Resolution List was now telling her to make a healthy breakfast

  • . She dropped a banana & carrot in the blender & 3 eggs on the floor. The New Years list said "No swearing." "Fudging Chip!" She improvised. "Don't be late for work. Don't speed"

  • she called to her husband as he scrambled out the door. "Son of a forking birch," she muttered as she wiped the eggs from the floor and wrung them into the blender. Her smoothie

  • now contained extra protein from the eggs, becoming the world’s first fruity egg nog. The inventor, a strange lady who was obsessed with forking over recipes, couldn’t help but

  • brag about her success on social media. Her favourite past-time was posting foodie shots on Instagram, always with "#blessed #foodie" somewhere in the caption. It drove her friends

  • feral. At first she didn't notice them. Her friends had always been good looking scenery before. Why wouldn't they continue to be that and feral? But when they started nitpicking &

  • complaining about her low-cut top, she lost it. "Why are you going all feral on me suddenly? You guys need to grow the heck up and stop treating me with the respect I deserve as

  • I am a purulent princess! I tattooed doormat on my head and entrance only on my backside for a reason! "We thought you were making a statement about toxic masculinity." Oh ffs!



  1. StigMartyr Jun 11 2020 @ 14:59

    I entirely blame the fold before mine for that one

  2. LordVacuity Jun 11 2020 @ 15:23

    In my defense, I did mean literally nit picking. Picking nits out of each other's fur or hair. I thought that would be the best way to depict them going feral. I'm just saying.

  3. LordVacuity Jun 11 2020 @ 15:30

    I think the nit picking was followed by the shit flinging.

  4. Woab Jun 12 2020 @ 13:43

    Oh absolutely, but I can't help but worry about Jane stretching and rubbing her eyes. All that stretching and rubbing could have caused her eyes to malfunction, resulting in the frightening twilight that her life became after that.

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