Jimmy was about to chop a chicken when he

Jimmy was about to chop a chicken when he realized he was wearing a white shirt. Not wanting to ruin it, he quickly donned his Darth Vader costume from last Halloween.Ms.Jones saw

Darth flogging his pollo with a light saber and became irate. "Jimmy! Your ruining our Halloween piñata stuffing!" Ms. Jones had high hopes for the childrens halloween party, but

Jimmy's light saber-swinging led to the piñata's beheading. Now its insides were spilling out grotesquely, scaring the other children, and promising them nightmares for a week.

Most of the nightmares were boring, but there was one nightmare that was insidiously evil. A little 8 year old girl had it.

The girl told her mom about the dream at breakfast. "I rolled the corpse in plastic and dumped it a near-by landfill." Her mom pointed a fork. "No more Encyclopedia Brown for you."

"No more Encyclopedia Brown?" She gasped. "But Mom, I need to read my daily murder mystery! How else am I going to keep my mind sharp!"

"Play scrabble or mind bogglers, you selfish cow! I gave birth to you, 200 hours I was in labor, and this is how you repay me! Encyclopedias, murder mystery books! I wish you had

a library card, for God's sake, and Twister! Go upstairs & bring down the Rock-em-Sock-em Robots. We'll settle this right NOW!" Her heavy bosom heaved. My mother. She disgusted me.

But my father, he delighted me. For he was the master of the Rock-em-Sock-em Robots. He was in fact Roboticus Spartacus the heir to the Rock-em-Sock-em throne.