He had won. But it had left him empty and

He had won. But it had left him empty and tired. The national pork shortage was just the first of many problems he was going to have to face. All he wanted to do was

ask George to bring some pork rinds for a beer summit, but pork bellies were trading at a record high and instead of basketball he was playing hardball with a chinese entrepreneur

maker, which was fine, since today's entrepreneurs are all cookie-cutter robots anyway. Robots with a passion for pork rinds. And backgammon. Using 85 year old eastern europeans as

-perger syndrome sufferers they were able to create a platoon of

angry chubbies in gay male geisha masks attributing personal emotional strife to animal husbandry 'cause they'd heard a uni prof quote "Network" years ago. This Aspergers platoon

was studied extensively by the National Institute of Health, which found these phenomena to be worthy of a 10 million dollar grant. Assured now they could attain tenure, the profs

descended upon the small town of Giggleshitz, OH, determined to find out all they could about the small colony of Lithuanians established there in the 1800s and their mysterious

bee keeping. Giggleshitz was usually a peaceful place to live. The interest in the Lithuanians became too much and the mayor announced that everyone would have to

stop wearing kinky felt Lithuanian boots and wear leather sandals as God intended! The citizens of Giggleshitz revolted en masse! Running through the streets hurling Baltic pastrie

s' unpronounceable names. For the awesome gods of the men of Giggleshitz were seldom sober. This was their way, and man knew no else than to follow in their paths. And it was good.