Claire sat in class, hoping, wondering, a

Claire sat in class, hoping, wondering, a possibility lurking in her mind people would join in on her story. She sighed as she pulled out a gun and held it in the air.

She then said HAI and everyone said HAI back.

Luckily, even though nobody had noticed, Tommy Wiseau (writer and director of the cult classic "The Room") was there also, just in time to say O HAI to everyone, including

to Bruce Willis, who said "Yippie Kye Yay, Motherfucker" and killed him. Bruce Willis then disappeared and went to Uncle Uzbekistan, where he joined force with Borat and killed

So he called up the local Price Rite and asked if they were hiring. They were. He got a job there and began his new life as a cashier, making money while handling it as well. But

before long, the lure of the stage was too much. He watched Tootsie for the 27th time in a week and plotted his next transvestigal steps.

He ended up in the hospital. Forever, he ate cold turkey and M&Ms to break his addiction.