Heaven's Gate cult leader Marshall Applewhite

Heaven's Gate cult leader Marshall Applewhite had the last laugh. The really hard last laugh because when they got on the spaceship they saw a bunch of Mormons on their way

to Utah. "I'm from planet Kaiziotsknuff, and even I think Utah sucks nesirrom dick!" laughed a twenty-five-tentacled Heaven's Gate cultist. But the Mormons wouldn't

Just then, in a flash of lightning, Thor swept to the scene in his goat chariot. Cthulhu and the Mormons looked at him. "So this isn't Ragnarok?"

Thor shook his head. "No. THIS is Ragnarok." Thor proceeded to flash his stunning hair, whipping it back and forth in the sunlight. In the process, he destroyed almost everything.

Thor sat on the asteroid that had once been a part of a Danish island. "Well, crap," he moaned. Earth was now floating rubble due to his temper, and the sun seemed to be dimming

Four years later, the sun was still dimming. Thor had gotten accustomed to using sunscreen.

It gave Mjölnir such a fine fine sheen he could use it as a mirror to admire his blonde locks in. Mjölnir put up with it because he was a god whether he was a god or not. Enabling

this nonsense didn't do much for Mjölnir's sanity, but his hair looked terrific. He had the sexiest hair in all of the Nuthatch Sanitarium. Even when he was in the rubber room his

nurses would line up to touch the velvety mane. Mjölnir was never cured but became the sanitarium pet. He cured many a patient with just a few strokes through his lustrous locks.