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Normally Carla didn't accept under 18s, but

  • Normally Carla didn't accept under 18s, but today she was in the mood to make an exception, so she picked up the phone and

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  • called the tailor. I need 15 size 8 and 28 size 6. "But madam" he said, trembling, "those sizes fit no american any longer." Jesus, he's a whiner she thought. "Ok, just do this

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  • and she started "Movin like Berney." the dance was soooo zombie-awesome that the clerk started dancing. Customers came to the closet and started shaking their

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  • booties all the while moaning like only zombies can. I flilmed the whole thing on my mobile and got outta there. The streets were quite. At home I uploaded the video to Youtube.

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  • I know that you don't really want to become famous like that Star Wars kid, but this video really knocked it out of the park. Within 14 hours I was known around the globe as

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  • "The Peg-Leg Skateboarder," really quite an impressive moniker. The fame really started getting ridiculous after my video reached its 5 billionth hit, and I landed a contract to

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  • direct the MTV Bambi remake, "Viva la Bambi." "I would've settled for Dreamworks," I thought as Bambi rubbed my peg-legs away with his antlers. His co-star was a guido falcon named

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  • Guido Falcon. What a pretty name for a bird, I thought. Distracted, I hadn't noticed until too late that Bambi had worn away the very last of my peg leg. MTV sure sucks.

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  • I walked out of the tv into the real world. I looked around. This wasnt my room. A kid was on Their bed, their mouth wide open to what they just saw. Where was I? I thought.

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  • I felt someone tap me on my shoulder. "Get outta my way. This is my turf." I was shoved by some total tool with a buzz cut. "Hey kid, you ever heard of the Sham-Wow? Get your mom."

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