He fell in love with her the moment she flicked

He fell in love with her the moment she flicked her tongue out to capture the tiny bit of marshmallow clinging to the tip of his nose. "S'more?" she giggled. In the firelight, she

made me sick. It was the way the fire flickered on her beady eyes and sweaty thin lips. What she didn't know was that I had lined the bushes with donuts and this was bear country.

Bears. Oh God they're here already. They've finished the donuts and they're coming for us, both of us. Can't run. Leg trapped. She's left me to the bears. I can feel their breath.

I felt a big wet bear nose snuffle at my neck. I continued to play dead as they pawed at my rucksack. Damn, not the Krispy Kremes!" I thought. Just as one clawed open the

I did what any sane person would do--dropped the box of rats and then cursed and tried to quickly re-capture them. My delicious baked snack may have disappeared, but that was no

-where near as awful as trying to get rats to jump into the box. Then I noticed that the rats seemed to be following a trail of crumbs, presumably left by the snack thief! So I

started my own little reconaissance mission. "Hmm..." following the trail I was soon led to a refrigerator on the Upper East Side belonging to a wealthy family by the name of Ratch

The Ratches were a wretched bunch of wankers from Wessex who won their way into the neighborhood on Bowling For Dollars, hosted by North West. When I asked to see their fridge it w

was packed with old pizzas, very unbecoming of a bunch of bowlers, although expected. I decided to let them off on this one, let them keep enjoying themselves.