I could not believe my eyes. Truly, they

I could not believe my eyes. Truly, they were hopeless. Always just popping out mid conversation. It made it really hard to

focus on class. Yesterday I was giving a speech, and they popped right out, giving everyone an eyeful. My pupils had to help me put them back into their sockets.

Iris it had never happened, because now my pupils made fun of me. Cornea as it was, they called me all sorts of names: Detached Retina was the one that stuck.

Wall-eye, floater, cata “has a nice” ract…hurtful names…lazy eye, fish eye…none stuck. I could go on and on. Finally, I conceded and made Aphakia Blepharitis my legal name.

I needed something that stood out in a crowd to match my wild green locks and purple plaid loving personality. Aphakia Blepharitis! I started my own fashion line.

My Aphakia Blepharitis fashion line was a big hit in Hollywood, where everyone's vision is totally messed up from the smog and drugs. Color clashes that could stop a truck were

muted by the air quality, but still kept interesting by the hallucinogens. However, the moment anyone left Hollywood, their garish clothing became sickeningly-apparent.

Better taste than Jay-Z's latest line of jeans and t-shirts for rappers. It happened the worst of the useful idiots were the first to catch this flu, for which there was no vaccine

Currently known to be anywhere in the production line. All the money had been that New Country Pop would tip us over the line for Species Prominence. To be undone by this, though.