"so, any last remarks, Bieber?" "No, Sir"

  • "so, any last remarks, Bieber?" "No, Sir" The disgrace was now hanging by a thread looped around his big toe. Below him, was the Japanese volcano Sacwanjoho. "So, bieber, any idea

  • why I have to kill you?" I asked. Beiber just smiled and nibbled a vanilla cup cake. "Do you know the history of the machete?" I asked as

  • I took out the DVD case. "It grossed over $26,589,953 in the USA alone yet you have the nerve to sit there and tell me you haven't watched Machete!?" Beiber took one last bite and

  • swallowed the rest of the disc whole. None of us were really sure what Beiber was trying to achieve by eating the Blu-Ray remastering of Machete On Ice, but it sure was a spectacle

  • and a half! He then proceeded to regurgitate the disc, but it now was a CD of Michael Jackson singing the hits of Air Supply. We gave polite applause, but then Bieber threatened to

  • trade blows, when Beethoven told him he couldn't hit puberty. The next YouTube video was some surrealistic slideshow of a retarded fifth grader's attempt at drawing. The next one

  • was a YouTube video of some frat boy playing Miserlou on a ukelele. He was at a quandary. Thumbs up or down? The kid had talent, but a ukelele? It could be worse, Harlem Shake.

  • There was just something about giving someone the thumbs down. I mean it felt so powerful to withhold my thumbs up for those like piano cat who were only truly deserving, but

  • it made me feel alive! Not as alive as I felt when I licked the outlet, but pretty damn alive. I started to thumbs down everything... kids in the street, babies at the playground,

  • the guys who were up to no good. But then I got in one little fight and my mom scared, she said you're moving in with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air. I wh, well you know the rest



  1. CrazyBananas Mar 20 2013 @ 13:20

    MangoMania, you are my hero

  2. HolyEureka Mar 20 2013 @ 13:21

    nice ending!

  3. MangoMania Mar 20 2013 @ 13:26

    Why thank you, once you folded playground my fold wrote itself. :-)

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