This is the story of the lovely rose bush.

This is the story of the lovely rose bush. It began long ago, with a merry throng that lasted

It grew tall and wide. The rose bush was located in Mr. Johnson's backyard, the one I've longed to own myself for years. Should I steal it, should I just plant a new one. Think!

It was a thorny problem. But my rose bush envy was so great, I worked out a master plan Mrs. Johnson's sweet smelling bus would be mine! That night with garden hoe, digging trowel

, & a six-pack of Bud, I plowed Mrs. Johnson's garden & stole her bush, right out from under Mr. Johnson's nose. It was sweet revenge, after last year when Mr. Johnson "borrowed"

miffed that her incompetence put me in this position in the first place. Now I had to spend hours scouring the Internet for chimp dealers. Luckily I know a guy who knows a guy who

knows for sure that this was a waste of my time. In a brusque email, someone with the user name SlimWhitman told me that what I really need is a bonobo. They're cheaper and

More durable than the chinese Factory outlet crap. Slim Whitman is a genius at folding stories, and everyone acknowledges that. My foldd stories have improved too. It was midnight

and I feverishly tried to think of a few positive saying for the three fortune cookies I had to make slips for...However, the pickings were "Slim" I wrote one that said

"Hope is a cruel taskmaster." Another, "Why are you reading this? Get busy!" Finally, "This is the last day of the 1st part of your life." At that moment I realized I was a failure