“Oh, how fun!” said Denise as she read

“Oh, how fun!” said Denise as she read the flyer for the Midwives Indoor Soccer League. “Hey, Trish, it says that fun, like babies, is to be expected. I'm signing us up." But Trish

was totally against soccer. He brother Mac said it was for queers. And that was good enough for Trish. Trish was a patriot not some European suck-up. She told her friend

she was going to dump her Euro boyfriend, Gianni. "Gianni,"she said firmly, "it's over. You must be gay." Gianni looked confused "Trish, bella mia, take a good look

at me. Do I not look happy? Contento?" Was Gianni was being purposefully obtuse? "Face it, Gianni," she said. "You're wearing lavender Hugo Boss & a silver pinkie ring. You're gay.

". "That makes you my queen bee, deary. Care for another Guava punch?". Gianni replied. She sighed. His offhand response was so typical. She loved & hated him for his lackadaisica

flowers, a pathetic, drooping plant with grey petals and pallorous leaves. "No. And why don't you get rid of these crappy flowers? You deserve something more life-affirming, like a

Swimming pool in the back yard. The kind they sell at Walmart!" And thus I checked online and found one. I put it on the back porch.

I put in the water, then the chlorine, then the crocodiles. The crocodiles complained that their eyes were red and that they didn't have anywhere to sunbathe. So I built them a

supervillian's lair in the basement. It even had it's own bathroom. They pooh poohed it and my son took the lair over as his own. The crocodiles were still being bitchy so I sent